Only Human

It’s after midnight.
I’m exhausted, but I can’t sleep.
I tried to work, but I can’t focus.
My heart is heavy.

When I’m hurting, I retreat. To a place where only God can find me.
I search my inner thoughts and I become aware of my own imperfections.

I am not the perfect wife::
I can’t keep up with the laundry.
I burn the bread.
I harbor bitterness and resentment and doubt.

I am not the perfect mother::
I lose my patience, as I try to teach longsuffering.
I am grumpy, as I try to teach my children to be joyful in all things.
I yell. Often.

I am not the perfect friend::
I don’t return calls. Or emails. Or PMs.
I forget your birthday. Or don’t make time to call you on your birthday.
I don’t know when you are hurting.

I am full of imperfection. After all, I am only human.

But, God loves me in spite of my sin.
He is full of love and forgiveness.
His mercy is new every morning.
And, I am humbled by the grace that He gives.

Be near, oh God. I need You.