How Cyber-Bullying Has Changed Our Lives

by Christine - From Dates to Diapers on May 5, 2014

I’ve never been one to throw around the word bully. I believe it is quite dangerous to call any one a bully without understanding the true definition and the consequences of the label. So, let’s start there.

Webster’s 1828 Dictionary defines the title bully as “a noisy, blustering, overbearing fellow, more distinguised for insolence and empty menaces, than for courage, and disposed to provoke quarrels.” The modern definition of bully as a verb: to discourage or frighten with threats or a domineering manner; intimidate.

I’ve always considered bullying to be an intentional and repetitive aggressive behavior. An attitude spawned from the intention to gain power over another; to gain the upper hand emotionally and/or physically. I believe it to be very different than displaying a mean spirit on only one or a couple of occasions.

Bullying has taken many different forms. From the playground and classroom to online cyber harassment.

Ray and I take pride in knowing who our kids friends are, and also what they do online. We keep tabs on who they friend on social media, and what they post. We know all of the passwords for their accounts and moniter them regularly. We have rules about when they are allowed online and what they can and can not do.

To be quite honest, I never really thought that my daughter would be the victim of a bully.

And, then it happened.

Now, we are fearful. Julia doesn’t sleep at night. We are constantly looking over our shoulder. We know we can be seen and heard, even in the misconceived privacy of our own home. We had to pull Julia and her best friend from school, and even had to send them out of state for a bit. We fear for their lives.

It all started in February…

Julia had been friends with a girl from school named Jaide, but she had noticed that the friendship was volatile. What sealed the deal for Julia was when Jaide had asked her to take photos of her undressing, so she could “send them to a guy.” Of course Julia had refused and this made Jaide very angry. There were many other things that Julia had noticed that caused her pause, so she decided that she should not be friends with her any longer.

Julia then began receiving messages from Jaide, calling her names, saying she hated her, and that Julia was the reason she had “started cutting again.”

Julia still had to see Jaide at school. During PE one day, Jaide told Julia and her friend Melody that she was going to kill herself and it was all their fault. She then went to the counselor and told her that our girls had been bullying her. Julia and Melody were called in to the office to be reprimanded, but were able to share their side and show screenshots of the messages.

We called the local police department, due to the nature of the messages, and he advised us to continue to talk to the school, and the assigned SRO. At that point, CPS and a local officer were called in to talk to Jaide. “She seemed in good spirits,” they said. “They claim it wasn’t her.”

From there it just got worse. More messages were sent and our girls’ Instagram accounts were hacked. Public accounts were used on Instagram to harass the girls, all in Jaide’s name. We had to keep Julia and Melody home from school, because everyone on campus was reading these horrible things being said to taunt and torture them.

Melody’s mom, Marti, and I confronted Jaide’s mother, but she claimed that Jaide, too, had been hacked and there was no way this was her. She claimed that Jaide’s accounts were all closed and she was no longer allowed online. Unfortunately that was not the case and I saw many updates from Jaide through the next several hours. Ultimately, Marti and I decided to file criminal charges against this girl.

Even during the interview with the police, Jaide was hacking in to Melody and Julia’s Instagram accounts, changing the password each time. Another friend, Kat, was also being attacked. We felt at that time that we could somehow be heard. We began to get that uneasy feeling that someone was watching us.

One afternoon, after a nap, Melody asked her mom if she’d be going back to school. Marti told her that it wasn’t like Jaide had sent any death threats. “If she did, you certainly would not be going to school.”

Then came the death threats. Jaide had accessed Julia’s Instagram account and sent Melody and Kat the threat through private message.

“…If you don’t kill yourselves, I will. You can go ahead and tell Julia that I am on her account, and I’m going to pretend to be her. I’m going to make everyone hate her.”

And, then it got crazy. More things were said in the privacy of our own homes and the girls would receive messages in response. We knew without any doubt, at this point, that we could be heard and seen, and figured it was through our phones and tablets. We had our phones wiped clean, changed the SIM cards, and had our phone numbers changed. Marti and I had Julia and Melody delete their Instagram accounts and they were not allowed to access any social media applications from their devices. We were terrified and taped over mics and cameras, and the girls feared even being in their own homes.

Marti and I agreed to allow our girls to create new Instagram accounts, so they could continue cooresponding with their friends. They created user names that were no where near their old ones, but it was only a matter of hours before Jaide found them.

When the messages continued, we decided to voluntarily submit our devices as evidence and have them checked for bugs and spyware. During the time that our county detective had our devices, Jaide continued to harass not only Julia and Melody, but anyone who they came in contact with – a new friend, a boy Julia liked, other mutual friends. Public harassment, defamation of character, and threats were posted publicly. Messages were sent privately from Julia and Melody’s accounts, and to them.

Our phones and tablets came back clean and for two whole days we felt somewhat safe. Then it got worse than we could have imagined when the girls received messages that mentioned what they were wearing and what they were doing. The messages got graphically disgusting and went on to state that Jaide has a guy who watches them, he has taken pictures of them naked, and Jaide planned to send them out to everyone. She told the girls that all of this would stop if “Melody gave her money and Julia gave her Bryce.”

Julia and Melody received another threat, but this time it was clear the girls would not be safe at school.

“I will kill you and if I cant I will make so-and-so (a mutual friend) do it at school.”

We decided the girls should be home schooled the remainder of the year and withdrew them from school.

My Instagram account was also accessed by Jaide around this time. She got in, deleted my profile picture, changed my bio to “I’m a hater, lol” and sent a message to Julia.

“Even your mom isn’t safe … I’m glad you guys freaked out. I’m not that mean. I’ll always give your account back, but it’s funny.”

At this point, we were sure that our home networks had been compromised, mostly the Coffey’s. We believe that Jaide had help throughout this entire ordeal and has managed to use the Coffey’s network to hide behind. We also believe that our phones had been accessed the entire time, making it virtually impossible to catch Jaide, as all messages and accounts will show as being from our IP and MAC addresses. Essentially, she had been framing us.

We decided to go the FBI. Local law enforcement was not helping to put a stop to this crazyness, we didn’t feel safe in our own homes, and we feared for the well-being of our daughters, as well as for their future. We discovered later that this was a waste of time and that the FBI would not help us, due in part to the fact that two local law enforcement agancies were already on the case.

After our visit to the FBI, Jaide sent us a few more messages. She also accessed Melody’s phone, logging in to her own Instagram account – fsms_gossip –  the account she had been using to harass and denegrate the girls. We discovered at this time that Jaide did, in fact, have access to our devices. We sought the counsel of an attorney and began our Cyberbully Victims page to bring public awareness to our situation.

Through our page, and the help of many friends, we were able to get the fsms_gossip Instagram account shut down. However, that just made Jaide even more angry and she began to take over our girls’ accounts. It wasn’t long after this, and several other attempts by Jaide to harass and threaten the girls, that we decided to have the girls delete all of their Instagram accounts, and we removed the apps from our devices.

Jaide then turned to KIK through which to send the girls messages. Marti phoned Jaide’s mother and spoke with her boyfriend regarding the situation. He spouted off a myriad of lies, as Jaide and her mother spoke and laughed at our expense in the background.

The very next day, the girls received messages from Jaide, referencing the conversation with her “step-dad” and making us aware of the fact that our girls were being physically stalked. This, of course, brought the “bullying” to a whole new level. We were no longer talking about just cyber-harassing and empty threats, but our girls were being physically stalked and were in real danger.

While the county sheriff’s department did nothing more than take our statements, our local police department did increase patrol in our neighborhood. All was calm and quiet… until today.

Today, after almost a whole month since the last message, Jaide decided to turn to Twitter.

“Hun, I’m back.”

“Sorry I’m late but my best friend found out and I promised her I would stop but she’s not with me right now.”

So, what’s next? Local law enforcement has failed us. Even the federal government has let this slip through their grasp. How do we know we are safe. Are we safe?

 

*I decided to use this girl’s real name, simply because we had already done so on our Facebook page, at the counsel of our attorney, and have posted screen shots from messages she had posted publicly.

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{ 60 comments }

Elizabeth May 6, 2014 at 12:29 am

These people need to get a life, a job, or maybe take up knitting. They obviously have to much time on their hands. Buy them some yarn and ask them to knit mittens for the homeless. Hackers. Haters. Obnoxious. “Ain’t nobody got time for that”

Michelle May 6, 2014 at 5:40 pm

Elizabeth, I don’t know you but we may be kindred spirits :) In one of the very few interactions I had with my cyberstalker I specifically told her she should take up knitting. The woman after me has dedicated so many hours into “disrupting” my life that we honestly don’t think she has a job – though she has some mad research skills that certainly some company would pay for. And Sweet Brown has been my theme song for mine.

Katja May 6, 2014 at 12:44 am

Incredible that the local law enforcement hasn’t done anything to stop this.

valmg @ Mom Knows It All May 6, 2014 at 7:20 am

Christine, this is awful. I don’t even understand how with all of the proof you’re gathering they won’t do anything. I hope your daughter and friend get some relief, and you are all able to feel safe soon.

Aleah May 6, 2014 at 9:08 am

I would request police presence in your neighborhood and outside your home, just to make sure. It seems like if this girl was doing anything more than messing with your heads, she would have done it, so I would do your best not to worry and to IGNORE her. She’s like a two-year-old throwing a tantrum and maybe if she’s not getting any attention from it, she’ll stop (or more likely, turn her attention elsewhere). Can you have a trusted friend/family member continue to follow her accounts just for the purposes of collecting evidence? That would keep you from having to see any more than necessary.

Amy@MomAdvice May 6, 2014 at 9:17 am

This is just awful, Christine! I am so, so sorry that your family is going through this. The fact that NO ONE is doing anything really to help you is mind-boggling. How does a child have this much control over a family?

Christine Koh May 6, 2014 at 11:16 am

Christine, I am just beyond words. Holding your family close in my heart right now.
Christine Koh´s last blog post ..A Book Giveaway. Because We’re Exploding With Love & Gratitude.

Amber May 6, 2014 at 12:31 pm

Oh my word. That is crazy! I’m stunned.

Sue Scheff May 6, 2014 at 1:39 pm

Christine, I am just speechless. Years ago I went through this – it was before the Internet became as sophisticated as it is now. As an adult it was absolutely one of the worst times in my life – you are simply powerless over cyberspace.

As an adult, I was emotional paralyzed which is why I am so passionate about this topic when it comes to the kids. If I could barely function from it, and it took me years to recover, I know the pain you and your family are struggling with.

There is nothing worse than when people would say – it is only words — just move on. It is so much more. Especially when you know the person.

I am stunned your authorities aren’t doing anything – why they aren’t able to step-in? Ridiculous!

One you do have is a ton of support online – yes, the space that is haunting you will be the same space that will bring you through this. Take it from me! You will receive many virtual hugs and love here….. more and more cyberbullies are not being tolerated.

Much love and support… you are not alone!!!!
Sue Scheff´s last blog post ..Cyberstalking: Exclusive Interview with Anderson Cooper and Sue Scheff

Deanna May 6, 2014 at 2:03 pm

I really need for parents to be responsible here. You know about what your child is doing and it’s comical?

The police need to intervene, give a restraining order physically and virtually, and threaten jail time / juvenile hall if their children cannot be controlled.
Deanna´s last blog post ..I Love NYC

Katherine Stone (@postpartumprog) May 6, 2014 at 2:12 pm

I’m so sorry your family has been through this Christine. It’s just terrible. It’s a lesson for everyone in terms of recognizing the importance of internet safety and all the holes in it that can affect your family.
Katherine Stone (@postpartumprog)´s last blog post ..Grab Your Big Girl Panties and Ass-Kickin’ Boots

Ashley - Embracing Beauty May 6, 2014 at 2:14 pm

What in the world is wrong with people? She said she’s back? She’s admitting to this? Unbelievable!
Ashley – Embracing Beauty´s last blog post ..My Daughter Met a Princess #PromPrincess

Ashley Bates May 6, 2014 at 2:20 pm

Wow. Christine… We at STOPit were just glued to our screens as we read the above post. I myself was a victim of cyber bullying 15 years ago… and the police were as powerless then as they are now. We are helping to change how schools and local governments handle cyber bullying by giving students and teachers cyber power. Our passion for this subject helped us create our mobile app that screen shots the abuses, sends the experiences to a trusted adult, the authorities, or accesses a 24 hour help line. We are advocating Upstander behavior and thwarting cyber bullying by allowing for cyber responsibility in schools. I hope that your daughter and her friend stand tall through this experience, it will make them tougher adults and more wonderfully compassionate towards those they meet along the road. Our love goes out to you! (Way to be awesome parents! xox)

Jill @BabyRabies May 6, 2014 at 2:21 pm

I am sitting here, jaw to the floor. I am so sorry you’re dealing with this and that you’ve turned to so many for help, and so many have not been able to help you. This is insane.
Jill @BabyRabies´s last blog post ..Ball Gown One Day, Clogged Breasts The Next

Nina Helleny (@accordingtonina) May 6, 2014 at 2:45 pm

Christine! I am so sorry you, Julia, your family, and your friends are dealing with this madness. It’s unbelievable how much power the Internet gives people and how little the law protects the space and the people in it. It’s horrific! Local and federal law enforcement need to step up and do something! I’m so glad I got to hug you in person this weekend. More love to you and yours.

Kate, aka guavalicious May 6, 2014 at 3:21 pm

Is this child at your daughter’s school? If so, it’s time to blow up the school district. Let me know if you need tips on that!
Kate, aka guavalicious´s last blog post ..This is Where We Do It : America’s Farmers and the Food We Eat

Michelle May 6, 2014 at 3:28 pm

Amazing..this is just incredible. I am so sorry you aren’t getting help. This young lady is frightening.
Michelle´s last blog post ..Maytagging: The Bleeding Edge of Primitive Art

Kris Cain May 6, 2014 at 4:09 pm

If this is real this is scary!! Have your homes been physically searched for cameras and recording devices? I find it odd that would not be one of the first steps (unless it is just missing from the story).

Who is this Jaide girl that she can supposedly hack into every device even after it is cleaned? For that to happen there would have to be something physically in the device I think.

It sounds like maybe a private detective should get involved?? They will check into more than the police is willing to do.

Kris
Kris Cain´s last blog post ..Spring Showers Giveaway: $100 Amazon or Paypal Gift Card

Christine - From Dates to Diapers May 6, 2014 at 7:00 pm

To be entirely honest, I wish I was making it all up. I assure you, however, that everything you read here is quite true. It has been a nightmare and the stuff only bad movies are made of.

Jaide is not acting alone. She comes from a family of criminals and I’m sure she has had lots of help. Even just looking at her public Facebook (and that of her mother) is very telling.

We have had to purchase new devices and change our home network (modems, routers, etc) and toyed with the idea of hiring a PI… All this costs money that we don’t have. :(

Kris Cain May 6, 2014 at 7:43 pm

That is so nuts. I really feel for your family!! I agree with someone above who said that they really need to get a life. Good luck getting out of that!!

Kris
Kris Cain´s last blog post ..Spring Showers Giveaway: $100 Amazon or Paypal Gift Card

Kris Cain May 6, 2014 at 7:53 pm

One more thing! Contact the local news stations. Get them to air the story!!

Anna Berry May 6, 2014 at 4:26 pm

Christine,
Please contact me so that I can try to help. My 14 year old is a nationally recognized anti-bullying advocate & speaker and we have dedicated the last 2 years of our lives to helping others avoid the pain we went through ourselves (including some online impersonation) and advocating for state and national legislation. Having been there, done that, we may be able to help through some of our own contacts or at least give your daughter and her friend someone they can talk to and confide in who has come out on the other end and now uses the experience to help others. I am SO sorry for what your family is being put through.

Lucretia May 6, 2014 at 4:36 pm

Oh Christine… I hate that this is still affecting your family. That girl obviously needs help and her parents are clearly part of the reason.

I know you have had issues getting action on this. Have you contacted the DA’s office directly yet? http://www.txdirectory.com/online/da/ The District Attorney is actually above the local police and sheriff on the law enforcement food chain. In Texas, Juvenile Court has jurisdiction over ages 10-16… but iirc correctly, this girl is over 10.

Wishing you and your family the peace I know has been missing these past few months.

Star Traci May 6, 2014 at 4:43 pm

I am so sorry. I’ve watched the page regularly and had thought you might be on the other side. I do not understand this girl but I really don’t understand her parents. I am frustrated for you with law enforcement, school, everything. Please know you remain in my prayers.
All my best,
Traci
Star Traci´s last blog post ..Come Play in May — The Ball I Dropped

Nancy Johnson Horn May 6, 2014 at 4:47 pm

This is horrible. How can she get access to all your accounts? I don’t understand how this girl’s parents can allow this and the school can allow this — and the police and FBI do nothing? I am so sorry your daughter and her friend going through this. Can you get the local TV news involved?
Nancy Johnson Horn´s last blog post ..Giveaway: 2 Tickets to the Big Apple Circus – Ends 5/15

Mel {MamaBuzz} May 6, 2014 at 5:24 pm

Christine, I’m so sorry your family is going through this. I truly wanted to ask you how everything was going when we were in Atlanta, but at the same time I didn’t want to bring it up and just remind you of the whole entire mess. I can’t imagine the invasion you all must feel. Please know that you are in my thoughts and prayers. We’ve all got your back!
Mel {MamaBuzz}´s last blog post ..5 Things This Introvert Learned at Mom 2.0 Summit

Michelle May 6, 2014 at 5:47 pm

Christine, as I mentioned on Facebook – my heart breaks for you and your family. I was reading through the other comments readers posted here and I’ve also been told to go to the DA if necessary. Which I haven’t done yet – only because I’m waiting to see how they are going to handle the report I made yesterday (the first report I’ve made since I obtained my protection order). The FBI also turned me down (and I didn’t ask myself – rather my detective bumped it over to the FBI with a personal contact he has there).

It’s absolutely not easy and I wish I knew a magical way to get the law enforcement in your town to be more aggressive at stopping this for you. I honestly think it’s almost a “luck of the draw” type thing. I would venture to say a detective would be a lot more “invested” in helping if they had a child go through the same thing. Until you experience it, there is just no way to comprehend the anguish it causes.

You, your family and your daughter’s friend and family are in my thoughts.
Michelle´s last blog post ..How a Cyberstalker Made Me a Better Person

Jennifer @ My Sweet Sanity May 6, 2014 at 7:58 pm

This mother is a real piece of work! She knows her child is doing this and thinks it’s funny? What kind of a person does that? How mentally damaged are the people in that house that this is acceptable behavior by the parent?

I feel so bad for your family and Marti’s. This is a horrible thing to have to go through and I am praying for you all. I hope you find someone in the legal system or government that will help. Sadly though the legal system often seems to favor the criminal and not the victim.
Jennifer @ My Sweet Sanity´s last blog post ..Personalized Hair Accessories Holder

Jamie H May 6, 2014 at 8:09 pm

How awful and scary! She HAS to be having help with all of this. How does a teenager know how to hack all of your accounts etc? I wonder how many others she has done this to? I can’t believe no one is willing to help with all the evidence you have!
Jamie H´s last blog post ..What I REALLY Want For Mother’s Day

MH May 6, 2014 at 8:52 pm

I am going through the same thing. Its like these ppl know what I eat, wear..think! I’ve lost 40lbs this month alone. Certain accounts of mine have been closed and I know they are saying horrible things and pretending to be me. I’ve been to the police and no help.I don’t know what to do anymore. And knitting seems to be a common theme as well

Kim Delatorre May 6, 2014 at 9:48 pm

Praying that this will all stop for you guys. I shared this on all of my social media pages. HUGS to you all!
Kim Delatorre´s last blog post ..Tips for Managing Allergies This Season #EyesonVISINE

Stefanie May 6, 2014 at 10:49 pm

Christine,
I can’t imagine what you must be going through! All I can say is I’m going to pass your story on to all our followers…and basically anyone I can get to listen. Don’t give up hope! There’s a lot of love and support for you out here in cyber-space too!! Sending a huge hug to you and your daughter, and Marti and hers
Stefanie´s last blog post ..Child Health & Safety News Roundup: 04-28-2014 to 05-04-2014

Jessica May 7, 2014 at 4:13 am

What an incredibly troubling year you have had at the hands of such a troubled young girl and her family. What a pathetic existence they lead. I hope you and your family find peace soon.

Vera May 7, 2014 at 7:21 am

WHERE ARE HER PARENTS???? i can’t understand this!!!!!! how is this possibly happening? I am truly sorry for what you and your children are going through.

Betsey May 7, 2014 at 2:09 pm

I’m so sorry you’re dealing with this. I have young children and this story is haunting me – I can’t imagine what you’re going through. Without intending to scare you, this story reminds me a bit of the story of Morgan Ingram. She was stalked and terrorized and later found dead (although it was deemed a suicide). Her parents believe it was foul play. Her parents maintain a blog (you can read Morgan’s story there) and are vocal about Morgan’s story. The authorities didn’t want to help them either. My point is that perhaps her parents may be able to give you some advice from people who’ve been in a similar situation. Thinking of you.

Susan (5 Minutes for Mom) May 7, 2014 at 9:55 pm

Christine, I am so desperately sorry this is happening. It’s so frustrating that the police haven’t helped more!

julie May 7, 2014 at 11:11 pm

I hate reading that this continues. And tonight’s threats were horrifying. Saying another prayer for your family and Melody’s. I’m sure all you can dream of right now is a firm ending.
julie´s last blog post ..How to use Disney Frozen books to enhance learning

mary May 8, 2014 at 7:14 am

I’ve been in the IT world for over 20 yrs, and the real key to this story is the IP and MAC addresses. You can spoof a IP address but you CAN NOT spoof a MAC address. It is hard coded into the hardware! Plus, there are cell phone LODs that can be access to check to see if the cell’s have been hacked or not. the ISP can be contacted to see if there is a unknown connection to any part of their network. Firewalls are part of Windows and iOS systems with any computer that should be running and kept up to date. Modem encryption is part of any modern modem now days with over a 128 or even 256 bit encryption which is so hard to break the normal person could not do it. This story not only sounds extremely fishy, but someone needs to check their facts before trying to miss lead the public. I’m waiting for the other shoe to drop where “we need funds to hire the PI” part comes in, and they start asking for money.

Christine - From Dates to Diapers May 8, 2014 at 8:55 am

Hi Mary, We have consulted many IT people and they have told us otherwise, they have helped us set up external firewalls that become breached, and they have seen this all happen with their own eyes. I never professed to know HOW they are accessing our networks and phones, but I simply stated that they ARE. Our stalkers are professionals, we are sure of it. This girl that began bullying our girls has help, without a doubt.

I am not going to try to convince you to believe us – look, if this wasn’t actually happening to us, I would have a hard time believeing it, too – but I will say that what we have experienced is very real. The messages are real. The fact that we can be seen and heard – that invasion of privacy – is very real. The death threats are real. The fear is real.

John May 8, 2014 at 2:07 pm

Mary, for someone who has been in IT for over 20 years, you don’t seem to know what you are talking about… You can most certainly spoof a MAC address. I’ve done it. And so have many other people. It’s actually one of the more common methods of getting onto a secured wireless network. Spoof the MAC Address of an authorized machine, and you don’t need to enter a password.

You cannot spoof your Public IP. You can mask it by using someone else’s, and have it not trace back to you, but you can’t spoof your own.

Julie Gallaher May 8, 2014 at 7:02 pm

Mary – Christine is one of the most well known bloggers in the USA and is considered to be someone with the highest ethical standards. If she says this is happening, it’s happening #justsayin
Julie Gallaher´s last blog post ..Home

Lisa May 9, 2014 at 11:02 am

As someone with a spoofed MAC address, I’m wondering where you work, because your skills are obviously out of date.

Demetra May 8, 2014 at 10:48 am

I’m so sad to hear this horror story that your family is dealing with but I thank you so much for sharing it. I pray for peace for your family and I pray that this troubled child gets the help she needs so she doesn’t hurt anyone.
Demetra´s last blog post ..BBQ Shrimp Recipe

Marti Coffey May 8, 2014 at 11:56 am

Mary, this is Marti the other mother going through this.
Please understand that what we are stating is based on what other IT people are telling us. I do know my Network was accessed and I no longer had any admin authority over my laptop or router. My modem was new and just installed and all security settings and only new devices were allowed on network. SSID was hidden and password was subnumerals less then 24 hrs later all settings were changed.
As for the “Money” seriously???????? Asking for MONEY never even came to mind. Not sure why it would cross yours unless that might be something you would do?? Money is the one of many blessings God has given my family. I don’t need it from the public.
Either way God is on our side and in the end that is all that matters.

Xen0n May 8, 2014 at 3:53 pm

Who ever these hackers are they have pissed of Anonymous, and that is not a good thing to do.

Amy B. May 9, 2014 at 4:27 am

This is the comment I’ve been waiting for. They’ll get things done when the police can’t and won’t.

LOLZ May 9, 2014 at 11:22 am

I’m pretty sure Anonymous isn’t going to find what you think they’re going to find.

Janice (5 Minutes for Mom) May 8, 2014 at 5:00 pm

This is all so terrifying and devastating Christine! You have been so proactive with your kids and this goes to show us that it truly can happen to anyone. I am so sorry that this madness continues!

Joy May 8, 2014 at 9:00 pm

I’m with Mary. This right here made my eyebrows raise: [i]Melody asked her mom if she’d be going back to school. Marti told her that it wasn’t like Jaide had sent any death threats. “If she did, you certainly would not be going to school.” Then came the death threats.[/i]

I hope I’m wrong, but if it were me I would be taking a long, hard look at my own kid. Because if Jaide is this technologically advanced, she should already be attending classes at MIT.

Lucky May 9, 2014 at 9:42 am

Agreed, completely. I am actually shocked that more people in these comments are not suspecting the two girls.

Catherine May 9, 2014 at 11:08 am

It’s absolutely important to approach stories on the internet with caution and a bit of skepticism. After all there have been situations before where people have made up unfathomable stories for a number of reasons including perceived personal gain. However, Cyber-bullying is a big deal and several young people across the country have resorted to taking their own lives because of the extreme cyber-bullying they’ve experienced. It takes less effort to offer support to these kids or even walk away for this post without saying anything than it does to type out comments calling their integrity into question. Haven’t they endured enough, Joy and Lucky?
Catherine´s last blog post ..Show Your Uniqueness as a Mom {Sponsored #Giveaway}

Lucky May 9, 2014 at 12:18 pm

Catherine, I understand that bullying exists. I think it’s pretty evident here that bullying is quite alive and well. Sadly, in this situation, it’s clearly Jaide who is being bullied … by these two girls, and also by the adults surrounding them. It’s absolutely sickening that adults would create a FB page, plastering her real name all over the place, and call forth a posse of mommybloggers to harass this girl online.

Ever hear of Occam’s razor? A 12 year old child did not install spy cameras in these homes, and figure out how to hack a cell phone account (lol!) to use up their data allotment. The two girls, probably with another friend or two helping them out, are setting Jaide up. It’s straight up hilarious that you all aren’t even considering that.

SarahHam May 9, 2014 at 2:09 pm

But, if Jaide was the one being bullied, would she be giggling and thinking this is so funny. LEOs and CPS both interviewed her and said she was a happy and healthy, normal girl, one they couldn’t have imagined doing such things. If she was being bullied, she’d be the one scared, upset, and not wanting to go to school. Just a little logic on a Friday afternoon!

Christine - From Dates to Diapers May 9, 2014 at 3:18 pm

We are not bullying Jaide, nor have we ever slandered her name, or even replied back to any of her comments or messages. I have not posted any of her personal information, but only post what could be publicly obtained.

We had been given the legal advice to set up a public Facebook page to update in real time what happens to us. We use the name given in all messages, publicly. It can be seen by anyone who visits her public pages. We were advised to do so simply because this had escalated quickly and we needed to publicly document what was happening to us. I am not responsible for what others do upon seeing our page and following our story.

As for a 12 year old being capable of doing this? I mention in my post, and I stand by my statement, that I believe she has had help. You are certainly correct – there is no way she could be acting alone. Even professional hackers are amazed at what has been done to us.

Dawn May 9, 2014 at 11:30 am

Joy, you missed the part in the comments where Christine explained that she’s sure that Jaide is not doing this alone – that someone with expertise is helping her. You also missed the part where she explained that Jaide was hacking in to Melody and Julia’s Instagram accounts, DURING the interview with the police – when the girls where nowhere near their computers/phones. You claim that it’s impossible for Jaide to be that technologically advanced, but you have no problem assuming that Melody and Julia are criminal masterminds that planned this elaborate ruse just to get out of school.

Sharon Mayes @Not Your Mom Blog May 8, 2014 at 9:20 pm

I hate that these people keep doing this stuff to you guys. It is insane that parents would help their child do these things. Hopefully you get resolution and that child can get the mental help that she needs.
Sharon Mayes @Not Your Mom Blog´s last blog post ..Muffin Tin Chili Mac Recipe

Lucy Honeychrrch May 9, 2014 at 11:15 am

I’m sorry; I find it extremely unlikely that this was perpetrated by a twelve-year-old with Time-Warner contacts and the hacking skills of Jonathan James. Occam’s Razor being what it is, I think you need to begin examining your own household.

Additionally, I find it unconscionable that you have published the name of the accused stalker. She’s a minor, and if she isn’t the perpetrator of this scheme, she has a very strong case for harassment and libel against you. I cannot believe any attorney would advise this; at least, not one with any sense of propriety and ethics.

Sarah May 9, 2014 at 1:14 pm

I could not agree more. If your attorney advised you to cyber-bully a 12 year old just because she allegedly cyber-bullied your children, you need a new attorney. One that can actually protect you from the repercussions of what you are doing in a court of law, not the court of public opinion in blog-land.

Christine - From Dates to Diapers May 9, 2014 at 3:21 pm

Hi Sarah and Lucy, I’ve said this before and will say it again –

We are not bullying Jaide, nor have we ever slandered her name, or even replied back to any of her comments or messages. I have not posted any of her personal information, but only post what could be publicly obtained.

We had been given the legal advice to set up a public Facebook page to update in real time what happens to us. We use the name given in all messages, publicly. It can be seen by anyone who visits her public pages. We were advised to do so simply because this had escalated quickly and we needed to publicly document what was happening to us. I am not responsible for what others do upon seeing our page and following our story.

As for a 12 year old being capable of doing this? I mention in my post, and I stand by my statement, that I believe she has had help. You are certainly correct – there is no way she could be acting alone. Even professional hackers are amazed at what has been done to us.

SarahHam May 9, 2014 at 2:26 pm

You’re sad unaware of the tech savvyness of young people these days, then. I hope, if you have children, you watch them like a hawk, because your children could be engaging in these types of behaviors, and you’d have no clue. Today’s kids are a lot more technically inclined than their parents. As far as publishing her name, maybe something will finally be done if there’s a little bit of pain to the perpetrator. Have you seen the Twitter and Instagram feeds? I’ve seen screenshots, and they’re horrifying!
You reference Occam’s Razor, you’re right. Jaide started bullying, and the bullying continues. The fewest assumptions to be made is that when the bullying escalates, it’s the same person bullying, not a new party jumping in to complicate the situation.

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