I was in tears as I read through this list, as I’m sure many grown daughters will be. Mothers – bookmark this list of rules and encourage your daughter’s daddy to read them, memorize them, and put them in to action. And, to all you Dads out there – be sure you pay close attention and heed these wise words.
About Michael
Michael Mitchell is an (almost) thirty-something dad who blogs daily tips and life lessons for dads of daughters at lifetoheryears.com. He spends his days practicing the arts of fatherhood and husbandry, while attempting to be a man of God and a professional raiser of philanthropic funds. On the rare occasion he’s not tied up with the aforementioned and other pursuits of awesomeness, he enjoys fighting street gangs for local charities and drinking from a cup that’s half full. Bookmark Life To Her Years, follow Michael on Twitter, and “like” him on Facebook for more “rules”.
1. Love her mom. Treat her mother with respect, honor, and a big heaping spoonful of public displays of affection. When she grows up, the odds are good she’ll fall in love with and marry someone who treats her much like you treated her mother. Good or bad, that’s just the way it is. I’d prefer good.
2. Always be there. Quality time doesn’t happen without quantity time. Hang out together for no other reason than just to be in each other’s presence. Be genuinely interested in the things that interest her. She needs her dad to be involved in her life at every stage. Don’t just sit idly by while she add years to her… add life to her years.
3. Save the day. She’ll grow up looking for a hero. It might as well be you. She’ll need you to come through for her over and over again throughout her life. Rise to the occasion. Red cape and blue tights optional.
4. Savor every moment you have together. Today she’s crawling around the house in diapers, tomorrow you’re handing her the keys to the car, and before you know it, you’re walking her down the aisle. Some day soon, hanging out with her old man won’t be the bees knees anymore. Life happens pretty fast. You better cherish it while you can.
5. Pray for her. Regularly. Passionately. Continually.
6. Buy her a glove and teach her to throw a baseball. Make her proud to throw like a girl… a girl with a wicked slider.
7. She will fight with her mother. Choose sides wisely.
8. Go ahead. Buy her those pearls.
9. Of course you look silly playing peek-a-boo. You should play anyway.
10. Enjoy the wonder of bath time.
11. There will come a day when she asks for a puppy. Don’t over think it. At least one time in her life, just say, “Yes.”
12. It’s never too early to start teaching her about money. She will still probably suck you dry as a teenager… and on her wedding day.
13. Make pancakes in the shape of her age for breakfast on her birthday. In a pinch, donuts with pink sprinkles and a candle will suffice.
14. Buy her a pair of Chucks as soon as she starts walking. She won’t always want to wear matching shoes with her old man.
Photo Credit :: Danielle Rocke Toews
15. Dance with her. Start when she’s a little girl or even when she’s a baby. Don’t wait ‘til her wedding day.
16. Take her fishing. She will probably squirm more than the worm on your hook. That’s OK.
17. Learn to say no. She may pitch a fit today, but someday you’ll both be glad you stuck to your guns.
18. Tell her she’s beautiful. Say it over and over again. Someday an animated movie or “beauty” magazine will try to convince her otherwise.
19. Teach her to change a flat. A tire without air need not be a major panic inducing event in her life. She’ll still call you crying the first time it happens.
20. Take her camping. Immerse her in the great outdoors. Watch her eyes fill with wonder the first time she sees the beauty of wide open spaces. Leave the iPod at home.
21. Let her hold the wheel. She will always remember when daddy let her drive.
22. She’s as smart as any boy. Make sure she knows that.
23. When she learns to give kisses, she will want to plant them all over your face. Encourage this practice.
24. Knowing how to eat sunflower seeds correctly will not help her get into a good college. Teach her anyway.
25. Letting her ride on your shoulders is pure magic. Do it now while you have a strong back and she’s still tiny.
26. It is in her nature to make music. It’s up to you to introduce her to the joy of socks on a wooden floor.
27. If there’s a splash park near your home, take her there often. She will be drawn to the water like a duck to a puddle.
28. She will eagerly await your return home from work in the evenings. Don’t be late.
29. If her mom enrolls her in swim lessons, make sure you get in the pool too. Don’t be intimidated if there are no other dads there. It’s their loss.
30. Never miss her birthday. In ten years she won’t remember the present you gave her. She will remember if you weren’t there.
31. Teach her to roller skate. Watch her confidence soar.
32. Let her roll around in the grass. It’s good for her soul. It’s not bad for yours either.
33. Take her swimsuit shopping. Don’t be afraid to veto some of her choices, but resist the urge to buy her full-body beach pajamas.
34. Somewhere between the time she turns three and her sixth birthday, the odds are good that she will ask you to marry her. Let her down gently.
35. She’ll probably want to crawl in bed with you after a nightmare. This is a good thing.
36. Few things in life are more comforting to a crying little girl than her father’s hand. Never forget this.
37. Introduce her to the swings at your local park. She’ll squeal for you to push her higher and faster. Her definition of “higher and faster” is probably not the same as yours. Keep that in mind.
38. When she’s a bit older, your definition of higher and faster will be a lot closer to hers. When that day comes, go ahead… give it all you’ve got.
39. Holding her upside down by the legs while she giggles and screams uncontrollably is great for your biceps. WARNING: She has no concept of muscle fatigue.
40. She might ask you to buy her a pony on her birthday. Unless you live on a farm, do not buy her a pony on her birthday. It’s OK to rent one though.
41. Take it easy on the presents for her birthday and Christmas. Instead, give her the gift of experiences you can share together.
42. Let her know she can always come home. No matter what.
43. Remember, just like a butterfly, she too will spread her wings and fly some day. Enjoy her caterpillar years.
44. Write her a handwritten letter every year on her birthday. Give them to her when she goes off to college, becomes a mother herself, or when you think she needs them most.
45. Learn to trust her. Gradually give her more freedom as she gets older. She will rise to the expectations you set for her.
46. When in doubt, trust your heart. She already does.
47. When your teenage daughter is upset, learning when to engage and when to back off will add years to YOUR life. If you succeed in doing this, tell me how.
48. Ice cream covers over a multitude of sins. Know her favorite flavor.
49. This day is coming soon. There’s nothing you can do to be ready for it. The sooner you accept this fact, the easier it will be.
50. Today she’s walking down the driveway to get on the school bus. Tomorrow she’s going off to college. Don’t blink.
Photo Credits can be found at the bottom of Michael’s original post.
**9/15/11**This post has resonated so well with daughters and fathers, mothers and grandfathers, and has received many beautiful and heartfelt comments. As much as it pains me, I have had to disable the comment feature. If you have a comment you would like for the author to see, please contact him via his blog, or email me directly at christineATfromdatestodiapersDOTcom and I’ll be sure to pass it along to Michael.
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Forwarded to some fathers I know. Thanks.
Joyce´s last [type] ..Mosquitoes Suck
Thanks Joyce! And thank you Christine for using my guest post!
I am 32 and my daughter is 6. This actually made me feel really good because I live by all of these that apply as of today and have every intuition of following the ones to come. They are oh so true. My daughter is my world and we have a bond like no other in this world. Loved reading these. Thanks.
P.s. It’s unfortunate that I do know some fathers that could learn from this, but some things just can’t be taught.
Ditto what Brad said. Someone gave me a great book called Every Daughter Needs a Dad when my little girl was born. Set me on a good path, as I didn’t grow up with a dad or sister around as examples. Here’s a song someone on youtube wrote that gave me the same kind of proud, joyful, teary feeling this list inspired: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Dei7Xg1IDX0
Your daughter is a lucky girl.
I am a daughter and my dad did alot of the things listed =) …but the good Lord did not bless me with any…I have 3 soons…would so love to see something like this for me. I know how hard it must be to raise daughters in these times but think about the flip side…it is hard to raise a son to be the man you want your daughter to marry. =) Thanks for the rules… I will try to just imagine to replace the ‘her’ with ‘him’ =)
I feel that this can apply to boys as well. Why don’t men get this?
It’s beautiful.
This is one of the most beautiful things I have ever read. I cried my eyes out as I read it because my own wonderful Daddy died in 1992. But because he did the things on this list, my memories of him are wonderful. Every new daddy in the world should read these rules — and follow them. There is nothing in this world as beautiful as the father/daughter bond. Thank you for this gift, Christine.
Loved this!
Thank you for a wonderfully moving journey of memories, plans, goals and emotions, Michael. This was truly a great read that really resonated with me, and that I have bookmarked for revisiting again and again.
And thank you, so much, Christine for posting this in your blog and putting Michael’s blog on my radar. As a dad who works from home where I am afforded the opportunity to have my 8 year old daughter as an anchor, purpose and daily sanity check, I find your words, thoughts, resources, and connections very inspiring.
-Jon
Thanks Jon! To borrow from your comment, if someone ever asked me what it’s like to be a dad, I’d probably respond by telling them that it’s “a wonderfully moving journey of memories, plans, goals and emotions.” It’s a good life, sir. Keep it up the good work with your own daughter.
With each number I read, hot, fat tears are rolling down my cheeks. My dad just passed away and I’m thinking about how he literally carried out almost each and every one of these rules. Oh how I wish I could read this to him and let him knpow how much I appreciate the relationship we had:) Will definitely be reading this to my husband!
This is one of the best things I’ve read in a long time. Like everyone else…big fat tears roll down my cheeks as I miss my own dad… and as I think of my daughter growing up … her daddy is waking up to this post in the morning
I know he’ll love it to!
This one is so easy to share. A wonderful mix of laughter, tears and joy. I’m an only child and I love watching the relationship between my husband and our daughter unfold. Thank you ~
rajean´s last [type] ..Sunset Sunday’s – This One’s for Angie
I love this! Some of these brought a tear to my eye. Off to share!
Shana D´s last [type] ..iHeart Faces photo challenge-White
The list is interesting rule for daughters. And each picture reflects wonderful moments and bonding of daughters and fathers. I like the advice of that a father should never miss daughter’s birthday so that it will be remembered the father’s presence instead of his gifts. Thanks for sharing this interesting article, which could help fathers to strengthen their daughter’s bonding.
Stephan Hilson´s last [type] ..Forfaits mobiles
Just sent this to my husband. I didn’t get through the first 25 without crying.
Nanette ~ AMomBlog´s last [type] ..Yoomi and Duo Equal Fun and Learning – Wordless Wednesday
Blinking a million times. Trying not to cry. Forwarding this to my husband.
Roo {NiceGirlNotes}´s last [type] ..A Dark Hour
You probably just got a piece of dust in your eye… either that, or the humidity was too high.
This made my heart sing! What a beautiful, gorgeous, must-read and re-read post. I love it. This right here is what life is truly all about.
Thanks Shannon!
Just beautiful and all are so true. I’ve shared the first one you wrote many times on my blog and in person with others. And is why my marriage is priority over anything else. If Mom and Dad are not happy the kids aren’t either.
Love this!
Chele´s last [type] ..Bona Fide Promotions ~ 8/22/2011
My dad used to say, “If mama ain’t happy, ain’t nobody happy.” In fact, he still says that to this day. I’ve always agreed with him, but you are spot on… the reality is, “If mama AND papa ain’t happy, ain’t nobody happy.”
That’s a lot of double negatives.
As the father of a 3 year old- a challenging, funny, smart, beautiful, happy 3 year old- I can only hope to carry out this list for my little girl. I will print this out and when I feel the challenge of a little girl, I will think back to this list and remember it is my duty and privilege to make my daughter feel loved using this list.
Thanks to the author. I will keep this list with me.
Scott – It’s always good to hear other dads talking about fatherhood as BOTH a duty AND a privilege. Thanks!
-Michael
Didn’t have the pleasure of having a dad growing up, but I still know a father who does these things is the dad in every girl’s dreams.
Melissa You are not alone. I too did not grow up with the love of a father.
Family was very dysfunctional mental and physical abuse was the norm. I have a wonderful husband though. Every little girl should have a wonderful Dad.
What a great post, and it came at a perfect time…
Lovely.
debbye´s last [type] ..Labor of Love- Share Your Labor Story Giveaway
Cute list.
I kind of have to wonder–tangentially, I know–why is there so much marriage in the hypothetical daughter’s future?
Let me be frank – these are well written and well intentioned….however
1. rules? why would they be rules, not suggestions
2. every father daughter relationship is different – i have 4 kids including 2 daughters and what makes each relationship special is the fact that it is unique – baseball might work but there is a whole world of activities out there…why be so prescriptive?
3. you say you are 29ish – you talk about you daughter going to college…are you sure?
4. i think loving your daughter is key….full beach pajamas maybe better than a puppy…as everyone is different….
I couldn’t agree more with you on #’s 1, 2, & 4. When this list was just five “rules” long, here’s how I explained it on another blog:
“I’ve been reading a lot of books and blogs lately on fatherhood and raising girls. From what I’ve read, there seems to be at least five common threads (probably more) running through most of the stuff that really speaks to me. Maybe they’re not really rules. Maybe they’re more like tips… tips, hints, suggestions, guidelines, or something like that. Whatever you call them, in no particular order, here are five:”
Every father daughter relationship IS different and you are absolutely right that “loving your daughter is key.” I apologize if the list came across as preachy or prescriptive… that was not my intent at all.
As far as #3 goes, I will support her no matter what, but yes, at this time, I’d like to see her get a college education some day. If she chooses not to, that’s cool too. I think every dad just wants to see his little girl be happy no matter what course her life takes.
Thanks for the feedback sir.
-Michael
Michael {lifetoheryears.com}´s last [type] ..August Giveaway Winner
@Ross, Are u kidding me? Do u have to take these “rules” so literal? I think it goes without saying, they are not rules but just some really neat ideas that give a little insight on what a girl needs, not only growing up but even as an adult in regards to a relationship with her dad.
Totally agree, Chris. This is a beautiful post that touched a lot of hearts, based on the comments above. I know they touched mine.
In my opinion, the only reason for someone to post negative comments like Ross’ are because their either one of those people who has to be negative about everything or they’re simply envious that they themselves cannot achieve something so wonderful.
In either case, the comments add nothing to this post and only serve to irritate other readers (obviously). Shame on Ross for trying to ruin something so lovely.
This is a great list and one that I plan on bookmarking and sharing with some friends too.
Greg McMullen´s last [type] ..Taking Risks; Meeting Opportunity
I’ve been telling my husband things like this for years, especially when things get really stressful in life. At times, I wasn’t sure it was sinking in, but since I just got it from him, and he loved it – I guess it is! Thanks for the back up.
Glad to be your back up.
Sounds like you don’t really need back up though. Being a parent is stinking hard work most of the time. I write these to help me remember to slow down and look for ways to add joy to my daughter’s life every now and then. If I’m not intentional about that, the stressful times alway win out… every time. And yet, when I think back on my own childhood, my favorite memories are of those times when my parents did those little things to make me feel special and loved.
Here’s another one to watch out for. When she is physically turning from a child to a woman, don’t engage her in an argument she starts for no particular reason. She’s just affected by the women’s curse – PMS.
I love this! I totally cried and I don’t even have a daughter!
Such an amazing post, think I was sobbing all the way through it
Mommyof2Girlz/StephD´s last [type] ..Flowers Bento
My Daughter, Jessie, at 28yrs. has been the Flower of my life, which each day has put a smile on my face, as I reflect on those growing up years. I always wonder, as I planted the seed in her life, did I cultivate it often, furtilized, nurtured and weeded this Flower? But then, as I look at her today, married, and with a little 8mo.young Boy, Lil’ Ben, my Flower has blossomed into the most georgeous, beautiful gift God Has given to me. I have 3 boys, all grown up, which I love dearly, but,a little girl…well, I love her so much, it hurts. I hope I have fulfilled all those 50 rules.
Dad
Just reading your beautiful comment about the love you have for your daughter tells me you are just the type of dad this blog is about! Thank you for that! You are just the type of dad we daughters need and love!
Spot on – I think you couldn’t be more right!! Someday your daughter will look back on the times that you did these things and be thankful – and I say that from personal experience.
This made me tear up quite a bit. My dad didn’t do many of these with me. He was never really “around” but I know my husband will be a good daddy and that’s all that matters now
This is one of the most emotionally moving pieces I have ever read. My birth father passed away when I was only 10, but sadly, for reasons beyond my control, never had the opportunity to know him and learned about him after his passing. I was raised by a strong man that afforded me many opportunities and I am grateful for those. However, I did not experience these things and it saddens me that there may be others daughters who do not have this either. I have and will continue to share this with all of the fathers I know to share the amazing advice of which daughters treasure so much. Miraculously, my birth father has revealed himself to me and continues to be in my daily life. It’s been an incredibly spiritual and joyous journey of love and faith. I know, had my father still been here on Earth with me today, we would be dancing together, sharing our moments, eating ice cream, and talking about life. I am so completely moved by this. Thank you.
Michael, this is so spectacularly gorgeous. I remember my own dad dancine with me at my wedding while my Uncle Jack sang “Daddy’s Little Girl” acapella in his unforgettable blast of a baritone. I can close my eyes and remember being a little girl and the feeling of dancing/riding on my Daddy’s shoes when he got home from work. I listened to Taylor Swift’s “Never Grow Up” today, and with all the back to school, it made me sob as I thought of my three babies being their own great, indie folks, but not my babies. Thanks for reminding me of all the power we have to create beautiful memories on the journey to beautiful, strong adults. Very empowering post.8 thumbs up.
This was beautiful, and so very true. I had tears at the end knowing that my dad did those things for me, and my husband now does those things for our girls. Dads are SO, SO important for girls. Thank you. <3
I have a four year old daughter, Novella. I work in Doha, Qatar as a civilian contractor for the Department of Defense. Her mother and I are together, but they live in North Carolina. I am given 10 days RNR every four months, so that is when I get to see Novella. I’m here to make good money and buy us a house, and map out our future. Reading through this list, I am missing out on a lot of things with her. I don’t think I can do this out here anymore…. this list brought ridiculous tears to my eyes and all I want to do is see her face…
John – We all do the best we can sir. Trust your heart and everything else (house, future, etc.) will take care of itself.
-Michael
Michael {lifetoheryears.com}´s last [type] ..123. Take her with you the next time you buy a major appliance….
John it’s always hard to choose between giving the material and the soul gifts….you’re working hard on the material: for the soul gifts to her: try doing special emails every day to her alone, telling her how you picture her when she’s grown up and let her know you’re working for her future! Send her pictures of you while you work to give her that special house and let her know how much you MISS HER. Tell her all the dreams you have for her and ask for her input on what she thinks will make that home you’re working to buy special for her. Let her know what that magnet on the new fridge, washer, dryer, etc. would say especially for her….and tell her how hard it is for you to be away from her AND her mother.
She loves you no matter what, but she misses you too! Fill the void with emails, pictures and special gifts from where you are…..even rocks or sand (magic dream sand)!
But she’ll always miss the time she could’ve had with you! and love you for the good life you’re giving her…..
Hugs from the mom of 3 boys and one girl princess (now grown)!
Annette,
Thank you for the input, it definitely means a lot to me. Some of the things you said to do I had not thought of, so I appreciate it very much.
I had to reply to you simply b/c I no NO ONE else under the age of 70 who has used the name Novella. My mother was named Novella- she passed some years ago (born in the 50′s). I named my daughter Novella in my mother’s memory. So, I now know that there are 2 girls born in the 2000′s in the US carrying on the name! Small world indeed!
Thanks for this, and I am proud to say I do most already with my 7 & 9 year olds. Would just like to add one more if I may be so bold. Sing. Sing, even if you can’t, with your daughter to a tune they like, that’s on the radio or wherever. It will make them laugh like few other things in this world. My girls had some friends over just last weekend and I had them rolling with my rendition of a Bruno Mars song while I was pop ‘n locking.
Yup, they made this mommy of three daughters cry…even more so that my husband is the one who posted this blog to his FaceBook page
Thanks for a great list!
Carrie´s last [type] ..we have a voice, so please help
I was in tears when I read through the list because I definitely missed out on a father’s love. Instead of grieving for the loss of four “absent” father figures, I choose to share this insightful article for other fathers to know what daughters need/desire most from their daddy. My stepfather thought that a wealth of showy material possessions and dangling his large inheritance over my head if I was that good obedient daughter was the true definition of love. Truthfully, to have experienced any of the “50 Rules for Dad’s of Daughters would have had the most significance in my life. I hope my vulnerability will make a difference in another little girl’s life, so they don’t have to feel that same emptiness.
Rule number 1 is awesome.
At my father’s funeral, the preacher quoted me…
“my father ruined me for all other men”.
I grew up watching how my Dad put his family first. We were the center of his universe. By the time I was grown, I decided I would not settle for less in my own life. So, he didn’t ‘ruin’ me, lol. But I didn’t settle & when my husband came into mylife, I new he was the right man because of who my father was.
Dad has been gone 8 years, and yet his gifts keep coming.
Love you Dad, miss you.
My friend shared these via her Facebook page and I just had to make a comment. While I am sure I will share these with my husband at some point, I cannot do so now as he is currently on deployment until March. The one on this list that would pierce his heart (as I sit here with tears thinking about what milestones have already passed) is the never miss a birthday one as he has missed more than he or I would care to admit. Military life is not easy and it is a lifestyle that is chosen; however, with so many of those 50 suggested rules viably checked, when our shore rotation comes around I have no doubt that he will once again be hard at work making up for lost time, soothing our two daughters with the touch of Daddy’s hand. I’ll be sure to let you know if we master the teenager rule as we are just about to have two! He is most definitely our hero, but wears not a cape or tights, rather a Navy uniform.
I cannot imagine missing the milestones that your husband is, nor can I think him and his fellow soldiers (as well as their families) for their service to our country. I hope your family will be together soon.
I am sure your daughters would love to celebrate a birthday with dad…it doesn’t have to be on the day they are born!!! Sometimes it is really hard work to get these moments…be creative!
while the actual day is important…it really also isn’t. When he comes home there could be a “birthday day” where there is cake and ice cream and maybe a small gift. or you could call it something else….I don’t think it is really the day that is important as much as the feeling of being important… just my 2 cents worth.. and also THANK YOU for your husbands (and your family’s) service for our country!!!!!
Typical
A woman writing about what a man should do
Just like our kids grow up with mostly women as teachers in school
Daughters like sons need a man/father to tell what 50 Rules should be for Dads of Daughters not a women’s view/conception
Actually, R.M., this article WAS written by a man who happens to also be a father. You can read about him at the end of this post, but his name is Michael and he authors the blog lifeforheryears.com. Go check it out!
you know, even if this blog WERE written by a woman, WOULD THAT BE SO BAD??? all this is is a helpful guide for men who may be looking for ways to connect with their daughters. and why wouldnt a woman be able to give this advice without raising your hackles? seems to me that a woman would be able to tell you what was missing in her life from her father OR what her father did to make her feel loved and special jut as easy as a man can tell you what he does for his daghter… not only THAT but this list CAN be used as a guide for all parents for children of either sex… HOWEVER there can be a special bond between father and daughter that can be cultivated into morals, self esteem, respect, and a sense of self worth that will be passed on for generations… thank you for these wonderful ideas, michael! even though i never experienced ONE of these things on the list, i know that my three girls will be better for me having found this blog.
Very nice. I love being the father of a girl. She’s only two and thinking of her leaving one day depresses me
Unfortunately my beliefs don’t include praying. It’s too bad you feel I can’t be a good dad if I don’t do it.
Praying doesn’t necessarily mean to pray to a god or higher power, think of it more as silently hoping for the best for your little girl. It is knowing in your heart you only want what is best for her and want her to reach her goals.
hey abe! some of us may be spiritual but not religious… even if you arent spiritual and you dont pray to a God you can STILL pray from your soul for your daughter. theres no government law that says praying has to include God! oh and BTW.. you are NOT a bad father if you dont pray for your child and i dont think michael was insinuating that.. its obvious youre a good dad becase you took the time to read the blog at all! jut keep up the good work and youll be rewarded in the end.
Big difference between hope and prayer. Hope involves reality and the future. Prayer involves a man who doesn’t exist (a bad father, you might say?).
I’ll stick with hope.
These rules were cute and the further I read the more serious they became to me! I have a daughter due at Christmas and I can’t wait to do all of those things with my little girl… But I can’t help being jealous and saddened that I never had the chance to experience them with my Jasmyn who was still born at 33 weeks almost 4 yrs ago. Perhaps they will now mean even more and remind me to cherish them just a bit longer then I ever would have. Thank you for sharing these thoughts, tips and great photos with all of us!!!!
As a father of 3 girls (8, 5 and 4 months) I found this to be awesome. Without seeing these rules I already try apply them to enrich my life, my wife and my daughters. Never perfect but always working in it.
I, personally, have rule #18 as:
Tell her she’s intelligent, smart and beautiful. Say it over and over again. Someday an animated movie or “beauty” magazine will try to convince her otherwise.
My dad died when I was 7 and now, 38 years later, I still hold in my heart a few of the things you mentioned that he did for me. Thanks for the memories this morning.
What’s funny is I read this list, I already do those things with both my angels, being a dad is and always has been my number one job in life. I never needed a list to do it, and this just proved it.
I read this as I was wiping away the tears. I have 2 beautiful girls of my own. They are grown up now, so they are beautiful young ladies. I am the mother. There dad is very much alive but is not allowed to have a relationship with them as his new wife thinks his daughters are too much like their mother. What kind of woman would keep a father from his daughters. My daughters miss their dad very much.
So sad…..
I’ll be sharing this with my husband tonight. Thanks for the tears. Beautifully written!
Kimberly´s last [type] ..Sometimes…
This is a lovely post. However, I’m recognizing some of the images from other blogs that I read, but there is no credit given to the image sources. I’m sure the owners of these images would like to receive credit for their work.
Hi Wendy – Thanks for pointing that out. That was an oversight on my part when I submitted this guest post. For credit on the images, please check out my blog at http://lifetoheryears.com. I have asked and received permission and/or credited the photographer for every image that I could.
-Michael
Michael {lifetoheryears.com}´s last [type] ..125. Teach her to read a map. You won’t always be there to…
The only change I would make would be to tell her she’s smart – instead of beautiful. Little girls already have enough pressure to meet unrealistic standards of beauty – let’s not make that a focal point in making them feel good about themselves. I’d focus on intelligence, strength, aptitude, skills and personality traits like kindness. I think telling little girls they are “pretty” only reinforces the stereotype that something they can’t control matters in the scheme of their life and their ability to be successful and happy.
An excellent piece. Your daughter is a lucky girl!
Diana,
I think it IS important to tell our daughters that they are BEAUTIFUL, SMART, TALENTED, TERRIFIC AND TOTALLY AWESOME–and our sons are HANDSOME, SMART, TALENTED, TERRIFIC, and TOTALLY AWESOME. OVER AND OVER AGAIN, EVERY SINGLE DAY even when we tell them we hate what they did but they are BEAUTIFUL/HANDSOME, TALENTED, TERRIFIC AND TOTALLY AWESOME!!! The world knocks them down and if we’re not their cheering section who will be?
PS: This worked for three sons and one daughter who grew up to be BEAUTIFUL/HANDSOME, TALENTED, TERRIFIC and TOTALLY AWESOME men and a woman! Two homemade and two adopted and the joys of my life!!!! All different but all the GREATEST HUMAN BEINGS!!!!
I loved reading this post! You must have one VERY lucky little girl in your life!!! My husband and I are expecting our first child, a daughter, in just a month now. I will be sharing this list with him, and I can picture him doing all of these wonderful things with our little girl! I also shared it with all of my friends who have daughters!
Thanks so much for this. My husband and I read it together, and we both really enjoyed it. Neither of us had Dads that were like this, but this is exactly the kind of daddy my husband tries to be to our two daughters. He’s doing a great job so far.
Wonderful! I’m choking back the tears. I love it. I’d also love if you wrote a sister piece called 50 rules for Mothers and Sons! I have 2 boys and a daughter. My relationships with both are so different.
I’m bawling right now. This is so beautifully written, and so important for fathers to know. Thank you so much!
Love it! I have two girls and I want them to love their dad as much as I do with mine. I still adore holding my fathers hand when crossing the street.
Thanks for sharing these cute reminders.
tasneem´s last [type] ..It will be fun to see who finally gets the biggest amount of likes tomorrow. It…
Christine,
This was a beautiful blog post, thank you for sharing you heart! I am going to save this one for my little girl to read one day when she is all grown up
Matt
Matthew Caulk´s last [type] ..The Brownstones Historic Franklin, TN
Very well written. This post really does make sense. I can’t help but cry when I read this. SOooo true. I recommend every one out there to read this post. A must read!
Beautiful site! I was not raised with a Father, and although my Mother did an amazing job raising four children on her own, I will always wonder what it could have been like! I love to see my Husband love our two children… what a blessing to have a Father who loves so much!
Just came across this on Facebook, had me crying in seconds. Just beautiful x
I lost my father on my 15th birthday so reading this has made a bit of a baby out of me. My mother was always so frustrated with him because he didn’t make the money that she thought he should and didn’t agree with a few lifestyle choices. To me though, all I know is that my daddy was the best man walking on this planet because he invested time and did everything on this list. Six years later and I’m looking at my husband, who funnily enough is exactly ten years younger than my dad to the date, and we are expecting a child. I know in my heart that no matter if this is a boy or a girl he will be the absolute best father possible. I do know the importance of “Daddy” in a little girl’s world though. To that knowledge, I pray that if I am blessed with a little girl, he will see it too.
Beautifully written. Thank you…
Very Very Good Read!! As a father of two and a granfather for 6 months now I cna say I followed most of these in some way or another. My daughter forwarded this to me and said “You Rock! Thanks for doing all those things for me. I only hope I can do as good a job raising Danika.” It sure makes my chest swell and my heart skip a beat. I have truly enjoyed beinga father and hope I can be just as good of a grandfather. Thank you for the memories.
I raised my daughter Karyle from Kindergarten through highschool and off to babbies and a home business. I was susprised and enchanted every day. and we took turns showing each other the spectacular in our daily lives. I was the stem on the tree on which she grew fron a catapiller to a butterfly, learded to fly and returned less often after every solo flight. Your words touched me and brought back all those memories in a flood. Thank you.
Loved, loved, loved this. So wise and yet practical at the same time. Is there anything like this for sons????
I loved that. I am a father of two young girls and I think of these things often. I have done a lot of them already but there are a lot more that I will queue up for the future. I am glad I found this (with your help).
Very nice. But plenty of us survive just fine without this daddy too.
“Survive”, sure. But it would’ve made a world of difference for my self esteem as an adult to have had a parent do half of the things on this list.
Very moving! Forwarding it to hubby, who’s going to become a dad in a few weeks time.
I cried as I read this, but not the memories I had. I did not have an involved dad and I think my father broke pretty much all of these rules. I have vowed to myself, my husband, and our daughter that she will not know how that feels. I forwarded this on to all of the daddies I know
I read this tonight after a REALLY long day at work and balled like a little kid lol good tears though….i lost my father 7 years ago and think about him all the time this just made me think more and more about all the stuff we did together when i was young
BEAUTIFUL! I am now 32. I sent this to my dad right away! Thanks for the joyful tears!
I try my best to do most of this list with my 3-year-old. Every moment with her is pure magic.
Next on my list: #44
What a wonderful idea from a great list.
I often wonder what my life would have been if I’d had a father like that. I also wish I could have given my daughter such a father, too. But, what (for me) is almost better is seeing her marry a man who is all those things to their child (even though he’s a boy!). The future is in safe hands with such fathers in this world
Wen´s last [type] ..It’s Been a Year
This was really nice to read as I have a very strong bond w/my dad and dread the day he will leave this earth. He is amazing and I make sure to tell him frequently how much I love him. He does most of the things on this list and I am so blessed to have him in my life.
Stephanie´s last [type] ..September 6, 2011
Oh holy smokes, that SLAYED me. It is so fast. It is too fast. I am so very deeply grateful to have had a great daddy myself, and that I am married to a great daddy to my three girls (and one boy. Because they need a daddy too). Would love to see a boys list. Or a mothers list!
Michael, I can’t even begin to express how moved I was by this. Growing up I did not have a good father, he never went to church with us, never did anything with us. When I was 10 my parents divorced and she remarried a few years later. My step dad was a good dad but I never experienced most of these things. When I married I always said I would never marry someone who was like that, and I didn’t. Today I have a husband who is beyond wonderful to our 2 children. They are the light in his day and I’m so thankful for that. I can’t wait for him to come home and read this. Thank you so much, I have shared with everyone I know. You hit it on the head when you did this. Thank you so much!!
Wow..How come I cannot find 50 rules for Moms with Daughters?
I’m workin’ on it!
I love this so much.
I had to post and link up on my blog. It just has to be shared!
wanda´s last [type] ..Thought Candy
I just got a daughter after 4 boys. You have reduced me to a pile of tears. Thank you.
I am a 21 year old young woman, and I started crying when I read this and the comments that followed. For all those Dads out there who follow these pieces of advice, kudos to you. My father could stand to learn something from you. Thank you for being wonderful role models to your children.
WOW
I like to thank my wonderful wife for sending this to me. my little girl means the world to me and so does my wife. my family is all i have and it is so true to let your kids know how much they mean to you. i will do my best to do these 50 things every day with my little sweet hart. Daddy love you
Thank you so much for sharing! Loved this!
For me it never turned out like those rules. I worked 6-7 days a week on swing shift, change shifts each week for 40 years. Being on 24 hour call, I also had to work more hours if someone called off sick, up to another 8 hours a day. Drove to work 55 miles one way. After my daughter turned 5, my wife was seeing her brother’s best friend while I was at work. The follwoing year, she moved in with her parents, next door. She filed for devorce, married the other guy, which that marriage lasted 6 months, and she lost the house to him. When I made arrangements to get my daughter to go out to eat or anywhere, her mother and grandmother made excuses at the last moment so I couldn’t get her. Before this, my x didn’t want me to stop along the way home from work to see my own folks on the farm. She’d call them tell them that to send me on home, because she had to go to town or something. She even kept them from seeing our daughter for a few years. Every Christmas I went to my side of the family alone. Took the presents back to them. Went to her side for almost anything. Finally after some years, my daughter in high school got mad at her mom and grandma, and she decided to go to church on her own up the street, where my family went. So she got to see her other side. After my daughter got married, the first time, I got to see her more. My dad told me what had happen thru those years before, and I was furious with my x. It hurt my family to no end. I should not have gotten married in the first place, I thought. I found a woman whose husband went out behind her back with other women when he was suppose to work, and she had 2 kids. I moved to an apartment, which happened to be next to hers, and we saw each other for 3 years and got married. Next year will be our 25th. My daughter seems to be somewhat like her mother, a flirt sort of, and she was seeing a guy at her work, and they happened to be in her mother’s car when her husband saw them, and he went bonkers. He went home cleaned out his stuff and left. My daugther moved right in her friends apartment, later got married. So now, we found out he was married 4 times before with kids and not paying child support, and after 2 years of fights between him and my daughter, there may be another devorce for my daughter. All those years of her being married for now 13 years, even tho we live 4 blocks from each other, I hardly see her or talk to her. When I call, I can get no answer. When she calls, She wants something. So sometimes, depends on who you marry, maybe, and what your work is, maybe some should never marry. Now I have been out of work for over 2 1/2 years with no college, and only have experience in the field I did, starting in 1968 not needing a degree back then.
How do I get a printed version of the 50 Rules for Dad and Daughters? I’d like to give this to the other dads in our Adventure Princess group.
Great question! If you just want them in text format, without the pictures, let me know and I’ll email them to you. If you want them in a nicer format with pictures, I’m not sure because I don’t own the rights to any of the images. If anyone knows a good illustrator or photographer who might want to work on a project like this (for free… at least for the time being), let me know.
Michael´s last [type] ..130. For some strange reason, little girls love running around…
I actually know of a great photographer who may want to work with you on capturing these moments for a book. I’ll email you, Michael!
I, too, cried when I read through the list. My dad was awesome when it came to many of these “rules”, and it brought up some great memories. However, I cried reading this because I also know far too many situations where, because Mom refused to follow Rule number 1 (i.e., “love and respect the other parent”), Dad was denied the chance to even try following rules 2 through 50.
Still, thanks for the thoughtful list.
I always knew my first born would be a girl and I couldn’t be happier! My little one is 2 now (or, 2 going on 13 if you ask her..) and I am so grateful and know how blessed I am to be her father. I was a foster child, so being a great father really means the world to me.
This list is amazing. Gotta admit, I teared up several times!! Thanks so much for taking the time to share!
Such and amazing post! My Dad did the majority of these things with me, he also taught me how to punch someone in the face, which later in life came in handy.
Amanda´s last [type] ..Thanksgiving Thursday
I turned 40 this year and as a daughter….some of these things I’ll never forget! Like daddy letting me drive in his lap; or that special one/one time I had with him; the times he made my cheering events, etc. This was a GREAT article!
Fantastic post. I am thankful to have married a man who will accomplish these things as my own father (and his) did not.
This is beautiful and I am sending it around Facebook!
Great list! I love the idea of writing a hand written letter to my daughter every year on her birthday. My daughter is now 6 years old so I now am catching up…@Christine, do you (Or any other readers) have a suggestion on how to write a “catch up” letter for those first six years where I didn’t write a letter? Love the site btw, its one I will be bookmarking!
I’m so glad you’ve enjoyed your visit here, Mark, and hope you’ll be back again soon… Thank you for bookmarking us!
Check out what Charlie did, over at BackToTheFridge.com (http://www.backtothefridge.com/change/) – It could be fun to do something similar for the first six years of your daughter’s life! Maybe some of my friends have other creative suggestions for you, but honestly? I would just start fresh now – Don’t worry about catching up, but move forward with the new goal of writing her a special letter each year. She will appreciate it more than you know!
This is just beautiful…we have 2 girls…11 and 7 and all that those ages implies. I read it by myself and cried and then read it to my husband and cried again…I didn’t have this kind of relationship with my Dad growing up and it’s so precious to see with my girls and their Daddy. Thanks!
Such a great post!
Danielle´s last [type] ..Teen Mom: Season 3, Episode 10
This makes me very sad. My father died when I was 4, so I never had any of these things. Those who have these memories have no idea how blessed they are. My memories growing up where going to a cememtary to stare at a grave marker, when I wanted to visit my Dad.
Thankyou for this post. I have re-shared it around my networks so that others are able to benefit from the information. I found it truly priceless!
Yep, I also smiled and cried whilst reading this. Smiles emerged as I realized how much of this my amazing husband already does with our two and a half year old daughter. The misty eyes came as I realized just how quickly these precious years have (and will continue to) fly by.
Now, can someone create a similar set of rules for mothers and sons. My baby boy is due in January, and -to be honest- I still don’t understand boys, and boy behavior, especially after hearing my husband’s tales of his childhood. Seriously, WHY on earth would you hop on the back of your toy dump truck on your knees and roll down that steep driveway??!?
)
Barbara @ Atlanta’s Frugal Mom´s last [type] ..Huggies Coupons Available NOW!
I’m working on a list for Mothers of Sons… Mommies are so important in the lives of their boys! Check back soon for my list.
I love this so much! Thank you!
A great list of rules for every Dad. I am sure there will be many dads who wish they could go back and start again, using them. Thank you and I will pass them on. Cheers Maureen
Maureen´s last [type] ..Why Are People Still Smoking Cigarettes?
Loved this and am so happy my dear husband is all of this and more to our two girls aged 6 and 9. Sadly I never experienced any of this as my parents separated when I was 2. Watching my husband with our daughters gives me great joy.
I accidentally discovered your blog, and I read all the 50 rules
. And my husband’s inbox has a new eMail 
. Thank you for sharing this with us, our daughters deserve the best!
Nedeia´s last [type] ..Lemonice si un pic de matematica
#14 but but we have Vans.
This made me cry. My dad was diagnosed with a terminal illness this summer and it has been a difficult summer. This describes the kind of dad that I have. I hope my daughter feels the same about her’s someday. Thank you for this post.
I have a daughter who will turn 3 in November and realize how important it is to spend good quality time with her. She is a blessing I love watching her grow and develop as we are getting past the terrible 2′s. Each day my love grows stronger and my goal is to be the best Father i can be teaching her right from wrong. I love this website and will follow the advice given. In the meantime my next goal is to teach her how to play tennis as I invision someday he playing at the U.S. Open.
Scott´s last [type] ..Tell Me About Your Bath Time Routine With Baby and Win!
Anyone who has a dad like this needs to stop what they are doing and call him right now and tell him thank you and you love him. I’d give just about everything I have to say my dad did even one or two of these things.
And if you find it hard to follow the “rules,” at the very least don’t be horrible. Sad but true, “not horrible” would have been an amazing improvement when I was growing up.
I love these tips. My dad was never there for me until I got married at 18. I am hoping that my husband learns from this list and cherishes our future little girl like this and will be there for her. Thank you for sharing these, I appreciate it.
My daughter of 22 y.o. and we have a very special bond. I have experienced
all 50 rules and invented more of my own …She is graduating from college
in December and I will walk her down the isle in June. We are the best of
friends and at least once a month we have “daughter/daddy” night out for dinner and a movie…I hope we will continue this 22 year treat once she gets
married…somehow I know we will………
My first child, a beautiful baby girl, was born this last Friday morning. Thanks for all the great tips!
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