From the moment I read Michael Mitchell’s 50 Rules for Dads of Daughters, I knew I wanted to put together my own set of rules, but for moms of sons. After all, I do have a bit of experience and I figured it would be easy. But, each time I sat down to write my list, my mind went blank.
I asked some of my good blogging friends with boys for some help, thinking I would be inspired. And, still nothing but a few ideas came to me. Until now. Perhaps it was being away from them this last week that made me realize the things that are truly important.
So, without further ado, I bring you my Rules for Moms of Sons, including some of those from my friends.
1. Hug, kiss, and squeeze your baby, no matter how old he gets.
2. Cherish every moment your son shows you his affection. It will become harder to snag that precious time with him as he grows older.
3. He will reach an age when you should not tell anyone that he still loves to snuggle with you. (Lisa Morris Frame)
4. Never, ever call him that cute pet name you have for him in front of his friends. (Lisa)
5. Teach them to know their Father. The One in Heaven. Because their biological one may not always be around and they need the One who will always be a true role model. (Kadi Prescott)
6. Don’t be afraid to argue with his dad in front of your son, but always make up, within his earshot, as well.
7. Show your affection for his dad. Kiss, hug, and cuddle your husband in front of your son.
8. Read to him. Every day. The Bible is a great place to start, even before he understands the words. Knowing his family is rooted in God’s Word will be the foundation on which he builds his faith.
9. Teach him the importance of opening and holding doors for girls, especially for you and his sister(s).
10. Make sure he knows how to do the things that older generations may expect only women to do – cook, wash dishes, do laundry, clean toilets, hold a baby, change diapers. Some of these skills will come in handy if he ever lives alone, but they will all be priceless if he plans to find a good girl to marry.
11. Never check their pockets when doing laundry. Make them check their OWN pockets. (Angela England)
12. Allow time for him to spend alone with his dad.
13. Encourage him to take risks, no matter how small. (Julie Meyers Pron)
14. Let him wrestle and rough house. He needs to be a boy.
15. Rough house with him. It teaches him early when it goes too far with mom (a girl) what the lines are. (Carissa Rogers)
16. Teach him when and how to be still.
17. Pray with him and for him. Pray for his mind, body, and soul. Pray he puts on the full armor of Christ, while teaching him what it means to be a warrior for Him.
18. Make him a cape and encourage him to be the hero and save the day.
19. Say “I love you” often.
20. Let him wander.
21. Explore with him.
22. He must be allowed to peek behind walls, skate without holding your hand, and run ahead on the trail. His curiosity and sense of adventure cannot be nourished when he’s attached to your hip. (Amy B-Hole)
23. Even when he’s tiny, let him know that he can talk to you about anything and everything.
23. Listen to him and really hear his thoughts and try to understand his opinions, even if they differ from yours. And they will, as he gets older.
24. Don’t be afraid to talk about sex with him. If you start early and establish relaxed, open lines of communication, he will feel comfortable coming to you with his questions and concerns. (Janice Croze)
25. Listen to his dreams and encourage him to go after them.
26. Ask him how his day was. Even if he spent it with you.
27. Buy him the dog he so desperately wants. Before he has to beg.
28. Learn to love reptiles and amphibians and insects. You will have to catch them, find lost ones, and conduct memorials for them after they are dead. (Kadi)
29. Keep a notebook and document all of the fun and witty things he says from the time he utters his first word.
30. Don’t sugarcoat anything. Tell it like it is. (Sharon Rose Mays)
31. Celebrate all of his accomplishments. There are no such things as “small” victories.
32. Show them that girls can play just as hard as boys. (Jessica Rubin Cohen)
33. Do not be alarmed when he falls and bumps his head, scrapes his knee, or cuts his finger. Boys were made to be rough and tumble and are bound to get hurt. Many many times.
34. A band-aid always makes it better. Even if there is no blood.
35. Allow opportunities for him to be silly.
36. Try to like his girlfriends. Or at least be nice to them. (Kadi)
37. He will get dirty. Let him without freaking out. Soap and water work wonders.
38. Go on a monthly date with him. Let him be the man and open doors for you, pick the movie/restaurant, and pay. (Tina Kelley)
39. Teach him how important a simple “thank you” is.
40. Give him your trust. But let him know he can lose it.
41. Start approximately one in five sentences with the word “Dude” and end one in five with the words, “okay, Buddy?” (Jessica)
42. Encourage him to learn how to play a sport well. Or an instrument.
43. Show him how he can express himself in different ways. Through his spoken and written words, through his body language, and even through music or art.
44. Be willing to use physical force to get the love you need. You may have to pin your son down to get a kiss, or pin his arms to his side to get a hug. Getting cuddles may require a full-contact tackle. You can’t get by with doing that to another adult, but it’s perfectly fine for you to do it with your son. (Amy)
45. Remember this: the days may seem long, but the years are short.
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